09 Another Lesson In Pain

New Shadow

Reality, reflection
I'm the fire-feeding
The world around is built by us
And "us" is more than all of you and me

In the end
Nothing is true
What has been and is, will be
In a different light
From now on:
New shadow

Shadow, awake in the sunlight
Shadow, alive like an animal
Shadow-alike run up the wall
My shadow-allied
A shadow like mine

Open eyes
Seeing things in a different light

While I'm here
And on my own
Nothing speaks
Nothing means
My words for you
I say again:
All my words for

You make it whole
You give sense
The meaning stretches
To the end
Another focus
Different view
Support all angles:
This is real!

With all my strength and all my senses
Ease my mind, embrace the pain

These words I own are yours right now
Each letter, word... each phrasing, sound

So level up the inspiration
Make me feel the humming flow

A symbol for the peace of mind
A symbol for my shadow-allied

Not dead yet

Come a little closer
Come near and you will see
You might find the peace I sense
Out there, almost within reach

With the headlights on...
With a pocket full of stones...
Waiting for the sun
Hoping for gravity

Fear the wrong, them all or nothing
Is it broken or just old?
If you don't know – they surely will
Decide first for, then sell to you

Stand, stare
See... understand
If you wanna walk the line
Then there's no room to step aside

So now come clean
Let the healing begin
So now become one
With the beating within
We are not dead yet

A little closer
Yet about to see
The line dividing earth and sky
Is just a shadow in your head

The taste of insecurity, freedom
In a bottle full of rain
Step outside the ordinary
Enjoy
Living...
Learning...

Breaking the bone of habit
Disturbing the peace of symmetry
Painting the best case scenario
Treasuring pain
Treasuring pain

Animal of Prey

Staring out the window
Ignoring the signs
Hear the knocking on the door
"Let me inside"

I'm still beating
I'm alive
Believe me I am not pretending
I can see us now... ending

Stand up for the god
Who left you alone
The absence of god
Who left you alone

Our reanimated shelf life
Stretched to a breaking point
See, all you need is to breathe
To stay alive

I'm still breathing
I'm alive
In the mirror I see
My reflection staring back at me

Stand up for the god
Who left you alone
The absence of your chosen god
Has left you
Haunted animal of prey

Stand up for the god
Who left you alone
The absence of god
Left a hole

Totmann

From the shoulders
Of giant Majority
We look down
And make believe
What we see is the only possible reality

The river runs down the hill
The river shapes the land
The river pours into the sea
The river is a river

Kill the deadmen
One by one
Walk on, walk strong
On and on
Kill the deadmen
One by one
Walk on, walk strong
Go out and show 'em – they'll never doubt it again

Like a lioness
Her breed
And a lion another lion's breed
Those rules to go by
Are like a tight string around our necks

Pain
And a painkiller
What I can't hear
I need to say

My blood-spattered
Blood brother
Your covered, blinded eyes can't see

It may not always be easy
It may not always look good
The message, however, is simple
It's our life we live it our way

Hegemony

Blood
You are a painting in the sky
Superior legions
Run superior plans
Who's gonna change the world for you today?
Well, I guess you wouldn't want it any other way

Throwing
You in and out the game
Showing
That this world will still spin when you're gone
Throwing you in and out the game
Showing that this world that we're in (not to sin)
Will still spin when you're gone

Red
Who stole the gentleman's hat?
Yesterday's matters
Today only letters
We haven't seen you for so long
Now that we see it all seems so wrong

Imminence
A proof, a hidden evidence
For no reason
Life is against you
Silent
Conspiracy
Goddamned!
Are you the beat?
Are you the melody?
Hegemony

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who's the emperor of us all?
Bow down, follow the pain
May guilt be thy master
And remorse be thy name

Clean

Losing, living, losing grip
Feeling, taking, feel like shit
I came here with nothing
But leaving now means leaving everything behind

I've pushed you farther than you'd go
I'm not your lover
Not your enemy
Why would you push all the buttons, open any door?

And what I wish for
Is you wide awake
But you feel like rain in my head
Brainwash me clean

See, hate is no surprise
We fought everything we could
Synchronized our intentions
Until we lost what we had found

Remind me why I wanted this job
Because I'm starting to forget
Don't say no, say okay
As if saying so will make it so

Oh well
That's good
I'm alright
And it's getting even better now

Who wanted those silly flowers in the backyard? And what about this "we" thing anyway?

General Routine

When I say something
To make you say something
In the end it's all
My fault

And so I say nothing
So you say nothing
In the end there's nothing at all

General Routine
God from the machine

You ain't gonna fuck my brain

Your hands in the open air
I'm to blame, but I don't care
Crush down heaven to the earth
This won't bring back your wasted years

They all served good and long and still
For sure they can't find peace until
We cut you and we see no blood
Come on, let's do it, fill the cup

A substitute for your own pain
We cut 'em all, but all in vein
The higher dose, the General
Were they bad things after all?

Victim
Faint-hearted schism
You are standing there, unbound
No rights, no left turn, nothing left to learn

I don't want to make friends
I'm not here to please you
I don't want to play a game
All I want to do to you is what you did to me

Anyway
You are bound in many ways
But when it comes to run away
You've got the speed and the drive
Of a goddamn train

Dogbite

Under pressure
Under control
Feeding the living
With the limbs of the dead

Long before the dawning
Longing for the fall
Hell, we keep the motor humming
I am humming, running dry

Black, on fire, arrows
Aiming in the sky
Searching for a shelter, home
Hiding from each other's pain

Wake me, take me
Turn around and hate me
I may not be good company
But I can kill your apathy

Near the end of the stay
Near the bottom of the line
We all follow the animal
And escape the pain

Now tell me more about the girl
That I'm supposed to be
Sometimes it seems I've had enough
To make me walk away

If this is what you want
Then this is what you want
Who would even bother?
Say, who wouldn't want it, too?

Love controls with silence
As it does with words
You used to say that I have fire
Now you're gonna see me burn

Bleeding desire
Beat inside, outside memory
Burning empire
Like a fever turning blood into fire

What I fake
In my head
Alone
Bleeds
Wherever
I go

Now is just
A matter of time
And we are less
Than a moment
Of high tension
Once bitten, twice shy

One is wrong and almost done
One is one plus one plus one
One is one more than just none
Another is just one
Another is just one

Another Lesson in Pain

So we're equal but we're not the same
What I look for you'd just throw away
Down with the water to the river to the shore
I cannot take this anymore

All the stolen, all the broken
All the borrowed, all the blue
All my hate I share with you
Another lesson in pain

Little is the space I own
Yet you don't know that you can't have it

Give me more – it can't be more than I can take
See, there were other friends I've made before
Spoken: broken
More for show, for blow
Growing – bowing down and low

As I walk alone
Free my heart from stone

Now see this, see it very well
At the bottom line we're even ordinary
Irritated solo-mutants
Nerve-twisted, longing for some sleep

"Attention now!" cries tragedy
Finally we're more than just free
Take the good, turn it to bad
Leave a message and me alone

The ashes come from fire
The fire from the boom
The boom I think was when I pushed the button labelled "go"

Damocles

5 on the run
Running dry
Their hands on mouth, ears or eyes
5 and again
Looking back
Again on the run
And up the wall

Repetition
Competition
I ain't scared
Are you?
Let's be the dogs that bite the hands that fed us for so long

Fear – I won't let you in
Right in the line of fire, I turn around and look at
Fear – I won't let you win
I make you shrink, until you disappear

I can't hear you breathing
I don't see you cry
If you are what they call alive
Then what the hell am I?

5 on the hunt
Hunting the brave
Feel the bars from which side of the cage?
5 are hurt
Hurting for immunity
Of change

Communication
Regulation
I ain't scared
Are you?
Frightened people are great believers in security

Killing
No more
Killing under the constraints of caution
Again
Again
Again

God spoken prayer

Water
Surface
Horizon
Sky

And all are looking up to see
The universal remedy
Established phantom of the free
The modern myth security

There is a line
I drew a line
Into the sand
That line is fear

My mouth is bleeding
Like a wound
My mouth a wound
I'm bleeding into you

Whispering down the lane
Gathering, paralyzed
Open-mouth society
I wear you like a suit

Oh mother earth
Out of the water
Out of sight
I am the devil's crippled hand

Licking drips off lips leaving delicate lies
Where the white rabbit goes, follows mankind
Like a god spoken prayer
They search, I teach 'em to find

Concern
Devotion
Shelter
Sacrifice

A life
To lose...
What do you want from me?
You make a fool out of yourself

Cocoon*

It is from the order of succession in Nature
And not from the ever-lasting endurance of her works
That we may expect the reign of perpetual activity in her wide domains

In her living kingdom
The ravages of decay and death
Are eternally repaired by the birth of new represantatives of life
As lands will vanish and appear above the waters

We are alone
And under cold stone
We rot

So afraid
Of change
Still we serve
The origin of worlds

The matter saved from such mighty wrecks
Will again be available for useful ends;
The forces which seem destroyed
Only assume other forms to participate in new movements and operations

I can see
A face split in a grin
And I see
A dream that did not come true
And all according to the plan
We are deer
Expected at the rear end of our own objective
All we were and are and will be...
Serves the origin of worlds

* partly taken from "The Popular Science Monthly Vol. 15" by Professor Daniel Vaughan; "The Origin Of Worlds"; May, 1879